Miss New Booty's Blog

Fuck you!

I am not good enough to take out, or get to know.  But I am good enough for a quick groping session.

“I don’t know”.

I am moving on, and I am not looking back.

This will be the last time I fall for you and get hurt.

I feel violated.

I have been going through an extremely hard time.  I can’t even write those words without tearing up.  Last week I left work in tears.  And the week before that I left once again in tears.  Nothing to do with work, but family issues.  Isn’t someone allowed to have a shitty day?  A shitty period of their life?  Aren’t I guaranteed that?

Today, nosey Lily questions what is going on…she is relentless….and plays if off as “the caring concerned type”, but I know she just wants to know what is going on.  Well, today she finally got it out of me.  And I hate her for that.  Her advise:

Gym & Jesus.

#1. My Jesus, wouldn’t allowed this to happen

#2. Fuck the gym

#3. And I will happily enjoy pursueing  all the “mindless eating” (as she refers to my fast food lunches) that I can fulfill.

#4. Fuck you, you stupid bitch.

Tonight when I got home, I go to my drop down menu on my computer to get to gmail….I noticed that there is a www.fontbonne.edu address.  I feel violated that my roommates used my computer without even asking.  Yes, my computer was left in the living room…..but I don’t feel close enough to them for them to just get on.  I know I wouldn’t feel right, just getting on their computer.  I know it isn’t that big of a deal….but it is the straw that broke the camel’s back in my violated day.

Also, today has been a weird day for boys…..it is like all the stars have aligned.  God, I feel so middle school writing this, ha! 

#1.  I had to go to Webster Mail & Copy to pick up prints for work.  Who do I run into?  Oh, Ryan.  Not, that I was trying to avoid him….but it would of been nice not to confront him.  Last week he texted me asking how I was doing, yadda yadda, and asked if I was still too busy to see him.  (Seriously?!  Who asks that via text message?)  My response: yup…well actually “yer”….I was kinda drunk at the time.  So, I am looking though the 27 11×17 I had ordered and noticed that 5 of them looked like shit.  I refused to pay for them, and told the check-out girl that I would e-mail Ryan a high res. file and then pay for them once they looked like the others.  She goes “Well, he isn’t here right now, he just left” Me, “That’s fine, I will just e-mail him, no big deal”….Not two fucking seconds later he walks through the door and sees me.  Not going to lie it was awkward, especially on top of confronting him on the shitty prints that he made.

#2.  Stephen (Black Rim Glasses).  Where in the world do I begin.  He is like a girl.  He text me like crazy.  I hardly respond to his texts, and when I do, I am just a bitch to him.  I don’t get it, I am so mean to him.  Why does he keep coming back for more?  We were suppose to go out last week, but I decided that I couldn’t go out on Tuesday.  Which was a good thing for him, bc he needed to see his dying grandma.  I honestly didn’t believe his grandma was dying.  That night at 2:33am I get a text that read: “My gma just died”.  WHAT?!  Part of me felt so sorry for him, it just sucks loosing someone you love.  And the other part of me thought, WHAT?!  I don’t even know you!  We haven’t even hung out since the first night we met.  OH. MY. LANTA!  He says ridiculous things like “Good morning, beautiful”  My response: “Ha.  Well, good thing for facebook, right? Since now you know what I look like”.  Dear god.  We are “suppose” to go this Thursday.  I feel like I need to meet him, because why on earth would he give me the time of day after I have been so mean to him.  PS- I had 4 missed texts from him tonight when I got to my car.

#3. Adam.  I went out last Friday back home. 

-Ended up at the Town Tavern in Bourbon, classy establishment if I do say so myself!

-Danielle, Jeffy, Danette, and Mary Miller left….so that left me, Kayla B., and Adam.  Hannah said she would pick me up so I said to Kayla and Adam “Hey, let me know when you guys are thinking about leaving, bc my sister is picking me up….and I want to call her with plenty of notice so I don’t have to wait here by myself”  Before I could even finish….Adam goes, “I’ll take you home”
-HA HA HA HA HA HA
-Me: “No, you don’t have to….it is out of your way”
-Adam: “I really don’t mind….I can just get on Gerth Rd and hit J…..”
-Me: “Okay…you really don’t mind?”
-So I call Hannah and tell her not to pick me up.
-We pretty much leave after that, but not before I get several text messages from Stephen…I was showing them to Kayla, and we were just laughing at them.  All I can say is “dear, god!”
-So on the way home with Adam, I decided I wasn’t going to kiss him, or put myself in an awkward situation like I had in the past…..yeah that lasted for maybe 2 mins.
-He pulls into my drive-way and we start making-out…..yadda yadda….he tells me he “doesn’t know what he wants”….yadda yadda…..then asks for sex…..yadda yadda…I tell him “Ummmm….no, only for boys who know what they want”……yadda yadda…..he ends up leaving at 3am.  I am pretty proud of myself for not giving in.  I was drunk….but not embarrassingly drunk like the last few times.
-Oh, my phone went off twice, with text messages from Stephen.  I didn’t check my phone in front of Adam, but he heard it go off.  And asked if it was a boy…I told him yes.  Then he got all defensive and jealous acting….my god, I can’t handle this shit.  I told him at that point, that I like him, but am not going to wait forever, and I am talking to someone else right now (who is a complete loser).  I wasn’t saying that to be mean or make him jealous….I was telling him to, well, tell the truth.
-We left it at….he is going to come up to STL sometime.  I don’t believe him, I really don’t, I think he was just saying that to not be the asshole that just wants to have random drunk make-out sessions and that is all.  I told him that “I believe it when I see it”, ha….god I am such a bitch when I have been drinking!

So tonight when I got out to my car, I noticed the 4 missed text messages from Stephen and a missed call from Adam.  I ignored the text messages and called Adam.  But he didn’t answer.  He was either calling to say he is sorry for leading me on and wasting my time OR he wants to come to STL.

#4.  Paul Goetz.  So, after noticing that my roommates were on my computer, I felt so confused and hurt….I finally make my way to gmail.  7 new messages in my Inbox.  The very first one “Facebook….Paul Goetz added you as a friend on Facebook…9:58pm”.  HA HA HA HA HA HA!  I wonder if this has anything to do with my drunken rant of how I wanted to “lay Paul Goetz” the other night while Chad was carrying me out of the bar.

God, I think I need some serious help.  I swear I am not this slutty…that I have 4 boys up in the air.  I am just sick of all the losers and lies.

Wow, what a random post.  But I feel better.

Okay it is 9:32pm on Sunday, why the fuck have you not called yet?

I hate how desperate I feel right now.  What the fuck is wrong…..fuck you “that time of the month” fuck you.  Why do I always feel like crazy psycho bitch every time I am on my period?

This weekend was so exhausting, I worked the Home & Garden Show from Wednesday to Sunday (show time 10am-9pm).  I hope I never get so old that I think going to the Home & Garden Show would be fun, seriously WTF?!

I went out on Friday because I didn’t have to be at the Convention Center until 3 on Sat.  I went out with Kayla and two of her friends: Jen and Brittany.  I love going out and meeting new people…it reminds me of when I was in Leiden, tear.  I have met Jen before….she is really pretty but sure is surly and negative about everything which makes her ugly.  Interesting fact, I found out she use to be a cage dancer, ha.  I had only met Brittany on Wednesday (I also went out on Wednesday to POPS with Kayla…bc I knew this weekend was going to blow).  Brittany is also nice but, is a confused lesbian, ha.  Kayla had “warned” me about her before we went inside POPS.

Sidenote, lesbian story, ha:

I went with Kayla to POPS (just across the river, next to all of the high class strip clubs) to see live music.  Kayla, who I love dearly, has pretty much slept with every guy in the one band we went to go see.  I got to see four bands for only $1, that’s .25 a band!

Okay now for the fucked up lesbian story…..

So Brittany shows up with her date, which is a girl named Amanda….but at the time I didn’t know they were out on a date, I just thought they were friends, like Kayla and myself.  The four of us hung out at a table with some townies (oh my!) and were having fun.  I was sitting in between Brittany and Amanda…as the night went on I felt Brittany’s hand on my leg…but not as in a “oh I’m drunk let me prop myself up using your leg” kinda way!  I just looked at her…with a glare.  Not a bitchy glare, but a glare of  “please don’t do this…..I don’t like you like that and you are making me uncomfortable” ha ha ha.

So Friday we all go out, and Brittany tells everyone that on the way home, Amanda told Brittany “that Andrea girl was really cute, I should of got her number”

My response: “Well, that’s good to know”  Then everyone laughed. 

Ha ha ha ha, oh.my.lanta. 

We went to an assortment of bars on Friday, I had so much fun.  I did get drunk, but not as embarrassingly drunk as I did last Friday (thank god, I never want to go through that again).  This drunk, was the good kind of drunk….just happy to be out, talking, laughing, and meeting new people.  Let me just say I am amazed of how many guys came up to me that night.  I know that sounds extremely pretentious, but what I am getting at is, I never get hit on because I am either out with Biermann& Larry or Brett & Ezra.  It is amazing the self confidence a guy has after a few drinks and knows there are no other guys in the picture.  WOW!  A definite self-esteem booster, ha.

So after going to McGurks, Bar 101, and The Tin Can we ended up at The Landing.  I think we were at Morgan St…..maybe I don’t know, and really didn’t care at this point.  All of us went out on the dance floor and I started dancing with this complete dork.  But all the alcohol I had consumed at this point made me care less, ha.  I really wish I had a video tape of this.

So after ditching dork on the dance floor I went to go stand by the window, you know to “cool off”, ha.  I noticed this cute guy wearing thick black rim glasses. 

Let me just tell you, thick black rim glasses are my thing now.  God, there is nothing SEXIER! 

So, I begin to talk to him about his glasses…asking if he was into the arts.  I know, pretty ridiculous right?  I just automatically assumed that he was intellectual and an artist because of his sexy sexy glasses!  God, I am such an ass, but please remember I was drunk (the good kind of drunk).  He told me that he was actually a math teacher, ha.  I think at this point I hugged him and told him how much I loved him.  I do think that I scared him a little.  But like I said, I didn’t care because I knew I would never see him again.  So the bar was closing, and our gang headed towards the door, only to be turned back into the other direction by the power-tripped police officer.  So I had to pass in front of the sexy thick black rim glasses boy to use the “correct” exit.  As I was walking up the stairs I saw him point me out to one of his friends.  And then as I walked past him I said “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know you are talking about me” Ha ha ha ha, Oh the things alcohol makes me do!

So the four of us were no where near ready to call it a night.  We stumbled into a bar across the street “Big Daddy’s” since it closed at 3am.  I was having a great time dancing my little heart out and then THICK BLACK RIM GLASSES GUY came up to and spun me around several times and said “how glad are you to see me?”  I probably replied with something really embarrassing like “OMG, I love you” that would be my guess.

So here are the bullet points from our encounter at Big Daddy’s (PS-sorry this post is so long and unorganized)

-I think I told him about a million times how cute he was.  Sidenote…I can’t really remember what he looks like, I felt like a slut calling Kayla today asking if he was cute or not.  Good news, he is cute, ha!

-We made-out a lot.  Yes America, on Friday night, I was one of those slutty drunken girls at the bar.

-I remember us talking about a bunch of different random things….but one thing that stands out is how he told me he was a mama’s boy.  Which I do remember thinking “odd, this is not the greatest pick-up line mister” But then it lead to, he would do anything for his mom, his dad cheated on his mom a few years ago.

-I am sure it was complete lust, but at the time I felt so safe, happy, and so attracted to him and his thick black rim glasses.  I know I know, I am a complete fool and drunk.

-So I gave him my number.

-The bar was finally closing and as I was walking away with my group, guys from his groups yelled “ANDREA, ANDREA, ANDREA” really really annoying.  And Jen replied with “Shut the fuck up, she doesn’t even like you…you are ugly” Isn’t that so mean?!  She is really mean.  For example…while dancing out on the floor this awkward/creepy guy came up to me to dance and Jen goes “She’s not interested” and then the guy goes to her “Well, are you?” HA HA HA HA HA!  Her response: “Get the fuck away from us”.  Man, what a bitch.

So, back to thick black rim glasses boy, which by the way he does have a name….Stephen.  So Stephen and I texted until 5am Friday/Saturday morning.  It was kinda awkward, bc one text asked me to be his girlfriend, ha.  I told him to call me if he still felt the same way the next day.  So the next day, Saturday….I get numerous texts from him.  Which I didn’t respond to until later that night.  I can understant the text-athon friday night because we were both drunk…and I can even forgive the “girlfriend” text.  But my god, I don’t even know you and you are texting my like crazy on Saturday?  What in the world?!

So he left it at “I like you, I am interested, but it is up to you, since you won’t text to say hi”

Me:(thinking, WTF did I get myself into this time… ”that isn’t fair, I don’t even know you….we haven’t even “known” each other for 24 hours.  How do you know you want to hang out after only meeting me breifly?”

Stephen: “I just think you are a nice girl, and would give it a shot of going out”

Me: “Okay I don’t mind giving things a shot”

Blah, blah blah….we both decided that HE was going to call tonight (sunday).  But here it is 10:26pm and STILL NO FUCKING PHONE CALL.  He texted me today saying “hey, can I call you later tonight, I have been really busy today”.  I told him that would be perfect because I am busy during the day as well.

I am confused….is this a trick? A trick for me to call him?  What gives with Mr. Happy texter two days in a row and then no follow through on the fucking phone call?

Is he not interested?

Is he chicked shit?

What the fuck gives?  I can’t believe I feel so defeated…I don’t even know this guy….honestly I couldn’t probably pick him out of a room filled with boys wearing thick black rim glasses.  But seriously……why no phone call?  Why all the texting practically begging me to call/hang out with you?

This is why I don’t get involved.  This right here.  I can’t take this uneasy feeling, the feeling of rejection.  Plus, being on my period makes me feel emotionally out of control.

E-mail I wrote Ezra this evening:

Okay.
I believe I am a stage V.
 
I didn’t come to realize this until early this morning…and then thought “Oh.My.God……I’m a fucking stage V………no wonder why I don’t have a boyfriend.”
 
So Friday….
 
The plan was for Brett, Danielle, Danette, Jeffy, Adam, and maybe Biermann to come over for drinks and darts.  Sidenote…I love having people over at my house 1. my parents are awesome and 2. I don’t have to drive anywhere and I can get completely fucked up without feeling guilty for the dd.
 
Brett called as I was getting ready to leave work on Friday evening, saying that his flight to Ft. Leonard Wood was not possible bc there was no room left for a stand by.  So, he had to buy a ticket and his flight was coming into Lambert.  He was telling me that his dad had already drove to Ft. Leonard Wood and was now on his way to STL to pick him up…..and basically he won’t get out to my house until 9:30.  I told him I would wait for his flight to come in and take him back to Sullivan if he wanted so his dad wouldn’t have to drive all the way to STL after driving to Ft. Leonard Wood.  So I pick Brett up at 8 and we head to my house.
 
When we got there Dan, Danette, and Jeffy were there.  I wasn’t sure if Adam was coming or not….but figured he would since we have been text back and forth all week(literally every single night and even during work sometime).  He should up around 10:30 or 11.  I decided not to get drunk since I was so sick last weekend with Mardi Gras……but alcohol and a stressful week played heavier on my mind, I got drunk.  If was fun, we didn’t play darts, but just sat around the wood stove and drank/ate with my parents, aunt bjaye, and hannah.  Around 12:30 Adam goes “Well, I gotta go, I have to get up early” to everyone.  I decided I would walk him out to his car (knowing that my parents would totally pick up on me walking out with him, but I didn’t care).
 
We get outside and of course we start making-out.  Here is what happened…..not verbatim bc I was drunk and can’t remember everything clearly:
 
I go “Why are you leaving?  I don’t want you to leave, you just got here.  I am mad.”
A: “I have a fishing tournament tomorrow morning.  I am meeting Coryell at 4am, I have already paid”
Me: That is so stupid, you should stay here…..seriously in the middle of Feb, who goes fishing?  You are going to freeze your ass off
-make-out some more-
Me: please don’t leave
A: I have to, but you are making this hard
Me: don’t leave
-make-out some more
Me: I like you
A: I like you too
Me: don’t hurt me
A: I don’t know what I want
Me: I don’t know what I want either
-make-out some more
Me: please stay, you are upsetting me
A: I was here until 4 last time
Me: so…..
A: I have to get up early
-make-out some more-
Me: Danielle doesn’t think we should be together (I have no idea why this came out of my mouth….I don’t know if she really feels this way or not….I mean every time we talk about this situation she is like “I would love for you guys to be together…but he is still really hurt”
A: (Kinda shocked) well that isn’t very nice…..I don’t have to listen to her like Jeff has to.
Me: me either
-make-out some more-
Me: please stay, I am mad.
A: I can’t
Me: Adam I have invited you up like a good four times to come and see me
A: (laughs)
Me: I am serious, I don’t want you to leave
A: Listen, if I didn’t like you I wouldn’t of came out tonight.  I shouldn’t of came bc I have to get up so early.  Don’t be mad at me.
-make-out some more-
Then this is where I am unsure of what I said…but at the time I was feeling like “if you leave then you can forget any of this happened”
Me: If you are going to go, then goodbye (as in don’t fuck with me anymore with texting and not showing up when I invite you places)
A: (kinda confuse)
-make-out some more-
A: I really need to go……..I promise I will come to STL to see you
Me: (walking away) “yeah” in the most bitchy tone ever
 
What is wrong with me?!  Let me tell you:
1. I should not drink/get that drunk when I am around him….for several reasons.  The main one being I can’t act normally and think straight. 
2. I completely act so desperate and whiny around him….that is not me, I don’t do that.
3. I don’t know what I want.  I don’t even know why I have tried so hard to push this….well not really….but just that night.
 
So he hasn’t texted or called.  I haven’t done the same as well.  Which is kinda strange bc it was like text-athon all last week.  Part of me wants to call him and apologize for being a complete bitch and tell him how I feel and why I was so upset.  And the other part of me wants to say “fuck it” if he is serious or wants to be with me then he is going to have to put forth a little bit of effort.
 
Yes, I was upset that he was leaving….but then it escalated into me remembering that I have invited him up several times. And the past two times at my house I have been the one begging him not to go.  That was the real reason why I got so upset.  I am fine with the fact that he doesn’t know what he wants….I don’t know what I want either.  But I do know, I hate how desperate/crazy psycho bitch I act when I feel like he is not putting forth any effort/givingmixed signals.  Hence, the conclusion I am a fucking stage V.  I wouldn’t want to date me either after the way I acted on Friday.  I am disgusted with myself, I am disgusted with this whole situation.  This is why I don’t get involved with anyone, because I get hurt.  It is just easier for me to end it early and move on.
 
Sorry for my completely bitchy/girly rant.
 
Two sidenotes!
 
1.  Biermann is a pussy.  I get a text from him on Friday saying he wasn’t coming bc Fontbonne is in some playoff game and he had already promised Katie he would go.  My response: Lame, I will make sure to tell Brett your lame ass excuse!  He is only in town this weekend.
 
2.  I AM MOVING!  My aunt (not really my aunt, family friend) Bjaye lives in Clayton in a two bedroom apt adjacent to the Galleria.  She asked if I wanted to live with her, she said she would love the company and could use help on rent.  I was kinda unsure about it at first….just bc she isn’t my age……I don’t want her acting like my mom.  BUT she is really cool…she is the crazy fun aunt/family friend.  I love her.  I went over tonight to drop off some shelves my dad put together for her.  The room is 3 times bigger than the one I have now, rent is $8 cheaper, she is an awesome cook (she use to own a restaurant), she won’t be there most of the time (she is a workaholic and vaction-aholic….she is going to Florida next week and Mexico next month), and I will have my own bathroom…but we will have to share a shower.  I haven’t told Brittany yet….I just decided this evening and plus I already paid for March here……so I am sure I will break the news to her tomorrow.  I really don’t want to leave things badly with her, I hope it isn’t too difficult to find a replacement.  Maybe flowerpot can start paying rent now !
 
Sorry for my ranting….but I figured I needed to let someone know I am a complete psycho raging bitch when it comes to my heart.

So here is my weird/freaky/nice story that happened to me last night.
 
I was hungry…well not really, but decided I should better find food before I got really hungry, and remembered when Kaylan took me to McDonalds on Saturday we passed a bunch of restaurants.  I usually don’t go down Hampton, but at the time thought….”I should remember this when I am hungry”.  So driving down Hampton last night, there is your typical fast food restaurants, and none really sounded that great to me.  So, I decided to keep on driving just to see what else is down Hampton.  After about 20 minutes I figured I should turn around and head back home since I didn’t really see anything I wanted.  I pull off Hampton onto this side street and noticed a church parking lot that I could turn around in.  It was a Lutheran Church and on the marquee it said “Lent begins today!”  I thought to myself “Oh shit!  Today is ash Wednesday!  Oh I should go to mass tonight….wait what time is it?  6:45 okay good mass probably won’t start till 7…..wait this isn’t a Catholic Church”.  Just as I was turning around, I noticed a Catholic church adjacent to the Lutheran one.  So I park and go in. On my way in I noticed the name of the church, “Saint Joan of Arc”…which was my confirmation name….I thought that was kinda neat and that St. Joan was trying to tell me to get my ass to mass.  Okay do you want to know the freaky part?
 
I am sitting in the pew and then mass starts, I had my head down reading the words to the song attempting to sing.  Then the priest starts talking….I thought “He sounds ‘old school’ awesome, I love it”  I look up at the priest and it is FATHER TED!   Father Ted, was the priest at St. Anthony’s while I was in PSR…he left about 4 years ago to retire at a church in STL, and I haven’t seen him since. 
 
So what are the chances that I would just happen to get lost (okay very plausible) BUT get lost, happen to turn around in a church parking lot, happen to notice a Catholic church, happen to ACTUALLY decide to go to mass, happen to be on time, happen to attend the church with the same confirmation name as myself, happened to walk into the church where my old/childhood priest is?!  Isn’t this crazy?!  What are the chances?  There are a million (okay not a million) catholic churches in STL….and I walk into the one where Father Ted is.
 
Once I realized it was Father Ted, I wanted to yell out “Hey everyone that is Father Ted…..I know him” ha ah ha, but decided against it.  After mass I waited for him to come back out in the congregation, but he never did.  I think I will write him a letter, letting him know that I was there and it was so great to see him.
 
It was just a nice evening, I just felt very good after mass….I like to think someone is watching out for me…..very powerful.
 
I called Biermann on my way home because I knew he would appreciate the story.  He did.  Come to find out Father Dennis (who took Father Ted’s place) is leaving for a little bit….something to do with hard feelings over the financial state of St. Anthony’s.  Oh corruption in the catholic church, that’s news to me !  I always knew/felt there was something fishy about Father Dennis.
 
Okay so that’s my story, crazy, huh?!

I had a really surprisingly and happy evening tonight!  Getting lost will lead you to the darnedest of places!  I like to believe someone somewhere is looking out for me.

 1. My first big fuck you goes out to Lily. I can not stand this bitch. The sight and sound of her makes me sick alone. After having a terrible day (which was only up until right after lunch at this point until I heard her…man I wish I would of known at the point how shitty the rest of the day would go) I hear Lily downstairs so I think to myself “crap…I better go face the music”. So I walk downstairs and I say “hi Lily” and handed over my flyer to Charles to look over. She goes really loud and disgusted “Why do you look so tan?” Me: “Uh….I got a spray tan” I don’t know why I lied! It just came out that way…I guess in my subconscious I felt like if I said “because I go tanning” I would of had to listen to her lecture me about the dangers of tanning….please note I CONSTANTLY am bombarded with “how to loose weight” emails from her. She then goes “hmmff….well where?” Me: “ummmm Abigail’s on Dumun….she is really nice” Lily “never heard of her” in her snobby rich bitch voice and walks away from me. All in front of Charles.

 2. My second big fuck you goes to Bruce. I feel bad for saying this about him, because I really do like him. But to be honest, I feel so betrayed and hurt that he hired Charles. I know it was just as a favor to his friends….but still. I am frustrated with this whole deal. I can’t tell you how many times today I had to hold back tears.

3. My third big fuck you goes out to Charles. I have mixed feelings about him. One minute I like him in his goofy/Jarrett Anderson kind of way and the next I’m annoyed with him. He keeps bugging me about “material” he will need when he goes and meets with clients. I want to scream at the top of my lungs “MOTHER FUCKER, I KNOW YOU NEED MATERIAL. I NEEDED MATERIAL MYSELF, BUT THERE WAS NO ONE HERE TO GET IT FOR ME, SO I HAD TO MAKE IT MYSELF”. I mentioned something about we are planning on taking new pics of the new system, but it keeps getting put to the back burner because there is more time sensitive stuff to deal with and he goes, “Well, we need to move it to the front burner” I just looked at him like, you fucking asshole! Also please note, I spent a good two days at work calling 50 St. Louis high schools to collect the names and e-mail address of the STUCO sponsors for him to contact. Did I get a “thank you” from him or Bruce?!

4. My fourth big fuck you goes out to Brentwood Kinkos. I lost track, and my brain just hurts thinking about how many times I had to go back and forth from our office to kinkos today. I didn’t leave the office until 10:30pm! That means I put in a 13.5 hour day! Would Charles stay and work diligently on a fucking flyer till 10:30 at night?

Here are some highlights of my extremely shitty day:

-I worked on a fucking flyer ALL DAY only to constantly be criticized….I understand you want the best for the flyer. I would get statements like “hmmmm I don’t know about this section right here” So I would go and change it….turn back in and get “well, I don’t know…..I don’t really like it” So I would say “what would you like to see there instead?” “ummmm…I don’t know, just not this”

-Charles took a lunch break, over an hour long….while I worked on that stupid flyer. Finally at 1pm I was starving and told Bruce I was going to get something to eat. He said, lets all go together. Charles goes, “Well, I just ate but I need to go to Office Max ” Bruce goes, “okay” Charles: “Well, I can go to lunch with you guys, and then we can all go to office max” WTF?! Bruce “okay”. We go to San Sai, I order first, pay. Bruce orders, pays. Charles orders, Bruce pays.

 -At lunch we had a discussion about fb. How we should get a fb pg. to upload photo albums of events we have worked especially for high school dances. Please note I have already mentioned this to Bruce in the past. Charles was acting like this was his idea. I butt in to say, we have already had this discussion, and I think it would benefit us greatly, but I don’t know how schools will feel if we say “Hey, can we upload these photos of your students on the Internet…they are crazy parents out there that will throw a fit, and then the next thing you know…we are ousted from that school and surrounded schools all because of one parent”. He sat there and argued not only with me but Bruce. At one point, and finally my breaking point to shut my own mouth because it was obviously he was going to shoot himself in his foot he goes “You hired me for marketing, let me do this, I can make a page in 30 minutes, it will be great exposure” and Bruce goes “Charles that is not the issue, we are not discussing great exposure, we all know it will be great exposure, its the fact of pissing off the parents/schools”.

-When then go to Office Max and waste 30 minutes while Charles looks for the perfect binder. The whole time I was thinking “I have a ton of shit that has to get done today……and I am stuck in Office Max” . Bruce asked if I needed anything and I told him pens, bc I feel like I always steal his pens. I think this was his way to be “fair” while Charles gets a $35 binder.

 -We are meeting with ALIVE magazine tomorrow. 1st. Thanks to me, for getting the demonstration meeting together…I have been after them for over 3 months. 2nd. Two weeks ago the marketing director ask for us to put a “wish list” and pricing list together, I told Bruce 2 weeks ago….it still wasn’t sent out until 4pm today. My “wish list” and pricing list was not good enough, so Bruce writes one over his trip he took last weekend, and then Charles ’s job today was to proof it. So finally at 3:30 it is done. I send it out to the marketing director and cc’d Bruce and Charles. 5 minutes goes by and Bruce yells upstairs “Andrea…Jason won’t be able to open that file, you didn’t save it as a microsoft document” My reply “damn it”. I didn’t mean for it to come out….but my god! If we had a version of mircrosoft word this would NOT be a problem. So I have to re-save it as a .doc file and send out another e-mail….I am sure that will look great on our part. PS-Charles gets to come along to the demonstration tomorrow.

 -I leave to go to Kinkos for the first time…..after that it is all a blur. I signed off on a proof for 500 flyers, I hope everything is okay. I save Bruce $150, bc I pitched a bitch at the Kinkos guy who quoted me wrong.

I need to find a new job. One where I am appreciated and not in constant fear of Lily. I can’t wait for this weekend. I need a break.

Below is an e-mail I wrote to Ezra today….I should just “cc” all my e-mails I send to  Ezra straight to my blog!  I told him I was getting a blog so that he wouldn’t have to listen to me bitch anymore…..well as you can see that hasn’t helped….I still keep him updated with my life daily!

I can’t wait to hear about your date….so how did it end, what is going to make my day?  Also thought of you when I was watching “Millionaire Matchmaker” (ON VALENTINE’S DAY) (a show devoted to finding “soul mates” for millionaires)  the main matchmaker told this cocky millionaire “share your head before you share your bed!”  A little saying that you should keep in mind
 
As far as Biermann, if he even says anything like that to me…which wouldn’t surprise me….my response is going to be “Well, Biermann, I guess your right…Asian woman are not as nearly as attractive as over-tanned, over-bleached, and over-used American woman….I mean you would know right, since you are dating one and everything”  Okay that might be a little harsh, but my god….he has no room to put any woman down, look at what he is dating!  Can we say Paris Hilton wanna- be?  Wow, I am being a bitch…..but the truth hurts, right?!
 
So my weekend: (Please note, I am writing this e-mail while at work…I got in at 12:30)
Friday-
*Went straight from work to El Nopal.
*Met Hannah there and had dinner
*Move into the bar area after dinner with Hannah
*Danielle, Jeffy, Matt T. (wow, things have changed for him…I can’t believe I ever thought he was cute), the DeClue girls and their husbands/fiancees, The Kases, Mary Miller and Kyle Hulsey, Krystal Miller and Curtis Reed, Abby Clonts, Ross Farrell, and Brittany Kline were all at a table.
*It was pretty lame
*I got to hear all about Craig and Amanda’s sex life….seriously….why do they BOTH need to tell me these things?  Do I look like a relationship/sex therapist?  (will fill you in via gmail chat)
*Matt T. was all over Mary…I thought it was weird when I came in that he was sitting right next to her and Kyle wasn’t….but whatever….as the night went on it was more apparent what was going on
*Just awkward Sullivaness all around
 
We went to Schmidttville
*I decided I wasn’t going to stay long. 1.  It was pretty lame  2.  I was tired from working all day and 3.  I haven’t even been home yet
*I walk in and Dan goes, “here I will get you a beer, why don’t you put your jacket out in the car” so I give her money and walk out to my car, when I come back in she still hasn’t gotten me a beer yet.  So I tell her to move out of the way and watch how you get service at the bar.  As I am standing at the bar, I feel someones hands on my back and on my neck…I though it was Danielle being stupid so I turn around really fast to see TRACY SCHMIDTT!  Do your remember me telling you about how he wouldn’t leave me alone the eve of Thanksgiving?  And how I accidentally bought him a drink?  Oh my lanta!
*So I said “hey” and then turned back around to get a drink, he just stood there.  So I began to ask him the same questions I ask everyone I see from our graduating class, but have nothing in common with “So, what are you up to?” He tells me he is in school at ECC for criminal justice…yadda yadda.  Then Danielle just walks away and leaves me there to fend for myself.  I tried 3 different times to get away by saying “well, where is Danielle?  I better find her…I just got here” or “Well, it was nice talking to you?”
*I could not get away!
*He then precedes to tell me…that I bought him a drink the eve Thanksgiving.  Me  “huh, I was really drunk that night, I was buying everyone drinks, glad you  got one!” Then I thought he was going to say something like “Well, let me buy you a drink tonight since you bought me one last time” Did he? NO he says “Yay, and I bought you one at the Pioneer” HA HA HA HA, I wanted to say “mother fucker no you didn’t, I was at the Pioneer for maybe 5 minutes and I never saw you there”.  Don’t lie to me and told me you bought me a drink when you didn’t, ugh!
*Finally after 30 mins Danielle comes up and says “Tracy I am stealing Andrea away, sorry” and she pulls me away.  Thank god!  As we are walking away I say “Bitch, why didn’t you do this sooner” and she goes “To teach you, you are too nice and need to be a bitch”
* So I sit down at the big table…and everyone that was at El Nopal is at the big table at Schmittville begins to laugh at my situation….but then everyone stops laughing because guess who is right behind me? TRACY SHCMITT!
*I pretty much blew him off….he did sit down at our table…and he wouldn’t stop staring at me….but I made sure not to talk to him for the rest of the night
*I felt like a bitch, but I also felt like if I were to talk to him I would be leading him on…and plus he was really drunk and I could tell what he wanted.
*Not going to lie, I was disappointed Adam was at a cow sale in Salem .
*I drank two beers and left, but not after receiving a great big hug from Mrs. Parks…that was kinda awkward
 
Saturday (v-day):
*I woke up around 10:30
*ate
*watched tv (Millionaire Matchmaker)
*Got called “Cindyanne” a lot before my parents went out and “pleather” (due to the fact I am laying in a tanning bed) before my sister went out
*Rented a movie
*Received a text from Adam asking what I was doing….at 10pm
*Told him I was watching a movie
*His text: “With who?”
* My text “myself” Goodness….I can’t take the jealousy thing…not that we are dating….but it’s just kinda a turn off
*Continued to text back and forth and went to bed.
*I invited him up for mardi gras…so we will see
 
Sunday:
*Made home-made pizza, yummy
*Did laundry
*stayed in bourbon….woke up at 9 today, took my time getting ready and went out to lunch with my mom at Elements.
 
I would just like to state, that I had an awesome V-day!  I loved not doing anything, watching a movie and staying in my pjs all day…..what is so wrong with being single?  Why is it such a “bad thing”?
 
Also, I thought Alice was very pretty and cute.  I hope you had a good time!  The amusement park looks like a fun first date!  Oh I told Craig you were going out on a date on V-day and his response: “Oh does Ezra have to talk like this ‘Ching, chong, ching, ching, ching, choooooooooooooong’?” Me: “Yay Craig” God what an idiot!  He also told me Perry is engaged to his “Midwestern Barbie” YAY for engagements and babies!  We are so out of the loop it isn’t even funny!  We are the minority!  Hip-hip-hooray!
 
You better respond with a long e-mail, or else!

Ahhhhhhh why do you have to be moving?  Are you moving?  Why? Why? Why?  I really want to get to know you.  I think you are adorable, cute, sexy, real.  Please say it isn’t so!?!

I don’t even know you, never talked to you….but eventually would like to.  I don’t know why I am so upset over the fact that you are moving.  What is wrong with me?

Get it together Andrea!

Should I go to CoMO this weekend…not even a weekend less than 24 hours spent in CoMO.  Here are the reason I shouldn’t go:

1.  I have to be at work the next day on Saturday by 11:30 to help set up.  I have to then work an event at the Contemporary Art Museum till 4.  That means I would have to leave no later than 8am on Saturday morning to get back.  I wouldn’t even get to CoMO till 7/8pm on Friday night.  Do I really want to be all hung over while trying to deal with kids at the C.A.M?

2. That is a lot of gas/money for such a short trip.  I need to save some money, be thankful I have a job.  I kinda feel ridiculous just blowing money for a short trip to CoMO, when so many of my friends don’t have enough money to buy groceries, pay utilities…the list goes on.

3. Adam.  I know what will happen if he is there.  I get drunk, we make-out.  I don’t want to become his “make-out” girl.  I deserve so much more than that.  Don’t get me wrong…I like him….I just feel like the only “quality” time we spend together is when we are both drunk and making out with each other.  Or sending sexual innuendo texts back in forth.  I hate that. That is a fucked up way to start a relationship.

4. I don’t want to be to tired for “my party” on Saturday.

Reason I should go:

1. I’m young.  Who fucking cares about work the next day.  I need to relieve some stress.

2. I will have enough money to survive on till the next pay day.

3. I want to see him.

4. I love to party two nights in a row!

I don’t know what to do.  The responsible Andrea would stay home Friday night, get a good nights sleep, and do a great job at work.

The irresponsible Andrea would say fuck it, leave early on Friday from work.  Party hard, make-out with Adam, not go to bed, get to work just on time and be miserable all day.

I am seriously on the fence.  I hate this feeling.  I just wish someone would tell me what would be the best decision for me.  I need a little 8 ball that would be made just for me.

__________________________________________________________

I can’t wait for Saturday nights festivities!  I really like to be around friends! And drinking is never hurts either!

I wrote Ezra and email…and figured that it was good enough for the blog….

Hello Friend,
 
I am writing to you, because I need to tell someone about my weekend…yes I did start a blog….but I feel like you would enjoy this more than any of my subscribers (1, ha!  Which is Molly).
 
Let me just say, I feel like I did not have a weekend.
 
Friday night:
Pretty calm/lame.  Dan wanted me to come down to Sullivan to “hang out” aka Schmittville.  Due to my past experiences (last Saturday/Adam Hecht) and the fact that 1. I had to be in STL on Sat, and 2. I didn’t even get out of work till 6:30 on Friday, I decided against it.  Came home, worked out, went to bed.  This is after the fact that all day I was reminded of how fat I am by Lily. 
     Example #1:  Lily: So Bruce tell me you are on a fitness kick
                         Me: Uhhhhh….no, not really……just going to the gym
                         Lily: I have seen so many beautiful girls ruin their lives by becoming fat.
                         Me: Uhhhhhhh
                         Lily: You really are pretty and your not fat, but……
                         Me: Thanks…..(under my breath: I guess)
 
Example #2: about 5 mins. later
                         Lily:  Really Andrea, you just need to watch what you put in your mouth
                         Me: Yes, I know, I am aware of my eating habbits
                         Lily:  My daughter for example, is like you, great personality, but big.  And I know the only reason why she 
                                 got the job she has now, is because she interviewed over the phone.
                         Me: Yeah…..(thinking inside my head: No wonder why your daughter fucking hates you)
 
Example #3: Go out to eat with Bruce for lunch….we were driving around….not really much of any options where we were.  Cici’s (the pizza buffet) is where we went.
                          Bruce:  Don’t tell Lily, I am bringing you here to eat, she would kill me
                          Me: oh, ha.
                          I pay the cashier in exact change
                          Cici’s Cashier: Wow, look at that, brains, beauty and exact change!
                          Bruce: Uh, now we just need to get her in shape
                          AWKWARDNESS
 
Example #4: 6:15pm on a fucking Friday evening…..working on the ad that I have been working on all day (due 8am Mon. morn, phone rings…
                         Lily: Oh Andrea, dear, I am just not feeling the ad
                         Me: Okay, what should I change
                         Lily: I don’t know…..let me ask some other people
                         Me: okay, well I mean, it is due 8am Mon. morning…..so
                         Lily, okay well we have the weekend……okay I got to go……don’t forget to work out tonight!
                         Me: (thinking inside my head) Mother Fucker!
So, I guess they are concerned/parenting me on my weight….but my god!  Seriously, if I didn’t have a high self-esteem, I would be so depressed right now.  I know they mean well….but come the fuck on!
 
Saturday….oh my lanta:
 
I had to work a bat mitzvah BY MYSELF!  IT FUCKING SUCKED!  The equipment kept fucking up….13 yr. old kids are rude……it’s Saturday night, I don’t want to work till 11pm……I didn’t have dinner……it was horrible!
 
So after leaving the bat mitzvah, I decided to go downtown to celebrate a friends b-day.  I was determined to make the most of the night, since I had such a shitty Saturday so far.  I get to the bar and see my friend and also see the boy who I told you about…the one where I just sent a message that said “hi”.  He acted nervous around me….we never talked, but made eye contact that was just all awkward in itself.  So, I was only going to have 2 beers, but planned on making them last for my time at the bar.  I enjoyed talking to friends from Webster/meeting new ones.  So, the birthday boy, Chris….is looking green, and passing out at the bar.  The bartender keeps yelling at him and waking him up.  All of us decide it is time for Chris to go home…he looks like he is going to puke any second.  We decided to get him a taxi, because everyone still wanted to stay at the bar.  Well, then we found out that he lives all the way in North County (about a $60 cab fee), no one wanted to chip in more than $5….so the next option, someone take him or take him to their house.  Everyone was like “ohhh I can’t…I didn’t drive…or I live too far away”.  So, I said “well I live on Skinker….and I have two couches…..he can stay there….but I really don’t want to leave yet.”  This guy, Sean said (in a flirty way), “Well, I will buy you a beer when you come back”  Me: “Mother fucker…okay.”  I didn’t want to take him…but I honestly felt sorry for the guy, 1. his “close friends” are shitty and 2.  he was going to get kicked out any second bc he kept passing out.  Then the inevitable happened….he puked everywhere at the bar.  So, I made Chad come with me to get my car.  At this point, I was thinking…Okay he puked, no big deal…its out of his system….he just needs to lay down now…..he can crash at my place….and I can come back and party.  Oh, I wish I wasn’t so naïve!  I pull my car up to the bar, and he is being carried out by Sean.  Sean puts him in my car, and I say “I can’t carry him….I am going to need someone to help me, I will take you back to the bar, but I can not carry him.”  Sean agrees, let me remind you, I have never ever talk to Sean before.  I would see him around on campus…but we have never had a conversation.  Also, I am friends with Chris…but not “I will help you out when you are passed out drunk” friends.  So, we head to Skinker….Sean is holding Chris up and I am telling him not to puke in my car.  Oh, and let me remind you…I didn’t even know Sean’s name until we get to my place, until finally I asked.  So, we had an issue of getting Chris out of the car…he wouldn’t help us out, he just sat there.  Finally, after I push from one side and Sean pulls from the other we get him out.  We are trying to help him walk, but he wouldn’t….So we just carried him in.  The doorman/woman…Rose (the one that is weird…and has been there when you have visited) is working.  We bring him in and she goes “do you want to sit him down?”  Me: “No thanks…we are just going to put him to bed.  As soon as the fucking elevator doors close…..he starts puking.  I start freaking out…..because 1.  He wouldn’t stop  2.  He refuse to move  3.  HE IS FUCKING PUKING ALL OVER THAT GOD DAM ELEVATOR.  So, we arrive to the 5th floor, and we try to get Chris out, but he won’t move….so Sean is holding him up on the bench and he has one leg out to block the door from closing and one knee in puke while I run to go get towels.  It took 4 fucking towels to sop up all the fucking puke.  Chunks everywhere…..I just knew, my neighbors…the neighbors I have never met before were going to come out.  So finally, after cleaning it up the best I could, Sean takes/drags Chris into the bathroom.  Oh my fucking lanta Ezra.  I did not sign up for this shit! 
 
Chris looked really pale and green….I told Sean that I was afraid to leave him, even just to go back to the bar.  I didn’t know what to do.  I have seen many people sick/drunk/passed out but never that bad.  I didn’t want to be responsible for him if he choked to death on his own puke.  So Sean said, “Maybe we should take him to the ER….Chris, buddy do you have health insurance?”  no answer.  Sean gets into his wallet and finds his insurance card.  But after all the fucking trouble we had getting him up to the 5th floor we were not ready to move him again.  So we decided to give him some water and just kinda see how it goes.  We made him take a sip of water, and he would just spit it back out again.  Oh my god, it was horrible Ezra!  So, we turn him on his side, and watch him for a little bit….he got the coloring back in his face, and he didn’t look like he was going to move.  Sean offered to stay the night to help watch him, but I said no, that I could take him back to his car.  No sense in both of us staying up all night watching him and plus I didn’t even know this Sean guy….I mean he seemed nice, and at times we were def. flirting with each other…..but last night just wasn’t the night.  So, I had to take Sean back to downtown STL….15 min drive.  As we are walking out the door, I told Rose that I would be right back.  And she goes, kinda bitchy “Well, is anyone up there with him?” Me: “Yeah….and its not any of your business regardless”.  Wow, I was such a bitch….but dealing with what I had to go thru and knowing what the night had ahead of me I wasn’t in the best of moods.  I apologized to Sean…for some reason I felt bad, that I had gotten “out of line” and he was there to witness it.  We had a good conversation, I know this sounds weird….and please don’t think that every guy I talk to I am automatically attracted to, bc I know it seems like it.  But I could see myself becoming really good friends with him/hanging out with him again.  What a way to meet, right?  So, we get back to the bar and he asks if I am coming in, I told him no, that I need to go back and check on Chris.  He told me that he was going to close his tab and go home….that he just didn’t feel like drinking anymore-ha. He said, “Well, it was really nice to meet you, and the next time we go out Chris will have to take care of our drunk asses”.  As I am pulling away I look down, and notice a set of keys laying in the passenger seat…..I stop and yell out the window….”Hey, are these your keys?” Sure, enough they were…can you imagine how more shitty the night would have been if I would of drove off with his keys?
 
So, I get back, and luckily Chirs is still breathing.  I wake up every hour to check on him.  I didn’t go to sleep till 4am, slept on the couch and continued to check his breathing every hour until 8am.  It fucking sucked, I was worried about him, tired, and just confused in how I became responsible for him that night.  I had to wake up early to let Lilly (brittany’s dog out) she had called me when I was on my way to the bar to ask if I could take care of Lilly on Sunday bc she wasn’t going to be there and neither was Casey.  Well, Casey was there (I had written a note to Casey saying : “I am so sorry.  My friend Chris is in our bathroom.  Please use my bathroom.  Please wake me up if you need to. Andrea”.  So, I get up to let the dog out, and Casey wakes up.  I tell her about Chris and luckily she didn’t wake up….I don’t know how she didn’t, we were so fucking loud.  So Chris wakes up….let me just say, what an ungrateful bastard.
 
I could tell he was embarrassed, and trying to play off his drunken night.  But, if I found out I puked all over someones elevator, used up all of their towels, puked at the bar, and had someone take care of me I would be so apologetic and willing to clean whatever needed to be cleaned.  He didn’t even remember me being at the bar.  He didn’t know that he threw up at the fucking bar, and as far as the elevator incident, no clue.  So, I tell him he needs to take the lovely towels that are next to the door down to the laundry mat.  We are leaving and I tell Casey that I will come back and clean the entry way….not once did Chris say anything.  We are walking out the door and I go “Chris. the towels”  He carries them down and I put in my money to wash them.  UGH.  I drop him off at his car, and he hugged me and thanked me.  I think he was appreciative, but embarrassed.  And I guess i can let it go….but still, I would of handled things more differently.
 
So, I decide to treat myself to breakfast after the night I had.  I go to the boardwalk cafe.  It was really really crowded there and a line was forming.  There was a guy about our parents age in front of me, and he turns to me and says “Do you want to sit together, because the next table is a large booth….that way we will get to eat faster?” me “Ummmmmm…..sure”
Talk about random and awkward.  So we start talking and I find out that he is an actor performing in the current production at the Rep.  So, it was nice to talk to him….but all in all kinda weird and awkward.  He offered to get me a complimentary ticket of today’s show.  Sure!  I gave him my number, and he called an hour later saying the ticket was at the box office.  I went and was front and center three rows back from the stage and watched St. Joan.  It was good….and made me think that this was my reward for taking care of Chris.  BUT, then after the show, the guy called…i didn’t answer.  I just think that would be too weird to talk to him.  I plan on writing him a thank you note, giving it to Lauren Smith (she is assisting for this show at the rep) to give to him.
 
After the show, I had a message from Bruce, telling me to get to the office to finish the ad because he made some corrections to it, but messed it up, and needed help getting it back to where I had it.  Ugghh…I just wanted to go and take a nap….all day, I have just wanted to take a nap.  So, after putting in 2 hours at the office, I get home to walk Lily.  That poor dog, I feel so sorry for it.  It is always locked in its cage.  So, I decided to be nice and not work out tonight, so Lily could just hang out in the apt after we walked.  After two hours of the dog going crazy, and me cleaning up dog shit and piss I decided it was time for her to go back in her cage.  I feel so bad, but my god, Brittany has not trained the dog, and it just terrorizes everything.
 
Whew, there you have it my weekend.
PS- I still need to mop the entry way and bathroom floor.  Today on the elevator I finally met one of my neighbors…..she was wearing her fur coat and pearls and all I could see where the chunks still left behind on the elevator.
PPS-John Richter=Creepy.  I saw him last night at the bar as well, talked to him for a little bit….mostly about Sarah and moved on.  In fact, Sean and I talked about how weird/creepy John is, because John called Sean to tell him the radio went out in his car (this was on the way back to the bar to drop Sean off) Sean goes “Hey, John, can you call someone else buddy, I am about to loose you…my battery is dying” ha ha ha ha!  Anyway, check out my lovely wall post from John Richter…oh and please note the time!